smack talk

things i may, or may not say out loud.

feeling the love


i had every intention of taking as many photos as i could during the holiday break. i had my mind set on visiting and documenting all the moments that i could leading up to my mom's wedding and the events that followed; spending time with friends, family, san antonio, houston, hong kong. even my uncle from my new extended family let me borrow and play with his big boy lenses. despite my excitement and eagerness to play, once things started happening and the wedding got going, i didn't want to take any photos. i just wanted to be there. i wanted to feel the moment. sounds corny but i wanted to feel the love. i wanted to feel the energy. the energy that brought families from all corners of the world like hong kong, bahrain, guam, shanghai, japan, singapore, california, south carolina and missouri to share and witness the beginning of a new chapter for two people that loved and committed themselves to one another after giving love a second shot. love is a trip. love is an animal. love sometimes makes no damn sense to me when i see and think about all the people around me who've found it. but its real. It is so damn real. 

its unshamefully cliche, but it really has opened my eyes. it's made me think two, three and even four times about what a relationship should mean. what really matters and how much effort and work it takes to keep it going. and when you find someone worth the good fight, then keep fighting, keep marching, keep making it work. ive admittedly been terrible at the aforementioned up until now. but things change, people change... my experience during the holiday was this…when you see someone that you love and care for, being loved and cared for by someone else...its a beautiful thing. it's all love. it's all God. it makes you believe in something that you thought had seemed so far away and foreign. 

needless to say, it was heartwarming. it was real. it was mad real. the entire holiday was full of love for me. love for my mom, love for my pops, love for my stubborn ass, hard headed little sister, mad love for my friends in Houston and San Antonio, a few in Shanghai and for the people who continue to look out and check up on me when they really don’t have to. i don’t have everything, i don’t want everything, i live comfortably despite sometimes thinking I should be aspiring to do more with myself. but I’m fortunate. i’m lucky. my family is healthy, they love me, I don’t have a ton of friends but the ones I do have are good to me, and the few really loyal friends that I have, honestly I simply don’t deserve. i wish I could pay them back ten, twenty and a hundred times over. but until i can, we'll keep the good times rolling. i've been keeping tabs.  happy new year to all that come across this. i hope 2017 is everything you wish and work for it to be. peace.