smack talk

things i may, or may not say out loud.

almost home


in less than a week i'll be back home in texas. quite a bit earlier than i had anticipated, but my mom is getting remarried and thus, duty calls. it's an important day considering it'll be an opportunity for her side of the family to get together and reconvene. the truth behind these get togethers is that outside of planned "family reunions", most of us don't see all of our family under one roof until someone passes. in the meantime, we all live our lives in our own corners of the world. one of my resolutions for 2017 is to be a better friend/son/brother/godfather/grandson/nephew and cousin. i've done such a poor job and have made such a weak effort to be the best of any of those. guilty.  i know that seeing everyone there will reignite and remind me of how precious and valuable family really is. it's truly a shame that it takes times like these for me to see what matters most. im guilty. im selfish, i get too caught up with living life behind my own lens, i fail to consider and stay cognizant of the people that have cared about me. as ruben studdard said long ago in sorry 2004, "this is my sorry for, SINCE 2004" . . .

its been a hectic week, i've tried to balance my sanity by being disciplined and getting work done, but also getting out and doing things to keep me interested. since my colleagues and i were forced to find other accommodations before jan 31, i found a place in central shanghai within the former french concession. finally checking one off the bucketlist; living in a big city. cant front, im sauced. its near a metro and a bus stop. feeling blessed and extremely grateful, so that's been keeping me grounded and staying in line. i checked out a viceland china event with my barber, lex (in the photo), and realized that trippy and experimental music is bit too much for me. dope visuals though. rap/hip hop/r&b til i d.i.e. the weather here is much colder than my current closet was prepared for, so i've had to buy multiple pairs of pants and jackets to stay warm. sidenote: really feeling carhartt's w.i.p and nike lab's acg lines. nearly all my shoes are of the knit variety so the cold winds have been killing my toes. its my new excuse to get new shoes, fo sho. i've been eating and making terrible food choices on top of not exercising for the past 3 months. i lost a lot weight going keto for about 7 months, but now my body feels disgusting after being so careless for the past 4 weeks. gonna get back on the no/low carb high fat/high protein + exercise track a$ap ferg. i walk a lot more here, and since thailand i havent missed driving. my flight is on friday after work at 8pm and only have one transfer to get to san antonio (pvg-lax-sat). just a small update and a few pics from the past week. looking forward to seeing those who wanna connect when i get back! yayayayaya

JOSH DEANfriendsComment